This post is an excuse to display my collection of One Direction gifs in all their glory. It is also an excuse to rant about fucking Glee fucking fuck.
OK, I'm done. I am so done. Ryan Murphy, I'm kicking your fucking ass to the curb of my culturally rich and pretentious neighbourhood because you insult me, Ryan Murphy. Your lack of taste and the way you destroy ART makes me SICCCCK.
NO ONE, and I repeat NO ONE, covers One Direction and expects to be respected for it.
As you can clearly see, Glee has this thing they do, where they take amazing, legendary songs and turn them into piles of highly effective fertilizer SHITTTTT.
I was able to take their cheese for three whole seasons. THREE SEASONS.
Butchering One Direction is the last straw, I swear. I remember telling myself, oh so long ago, that if Ryan Murphy so much as touched those boys, I would wring him by the neck and throw my television out the window. Sure, he could turn Gotye's song into an incestuous ode. Sure, he could ruin "The Rain in Spain" and thrust it into the plotline like the worst fuck in the world. I could even sort of take him using "I Kissed a Girl" as a coming out anthem (if it was all meant to be the last joke told before the end of the world).
BUT PLEASE, NOT ONE DIRECTION NNNOOOOOOOO.
And now he's done it. He just had to do it.
Gahhhhh, somewhere in this world, a bunch of cute bunny rabbits just died. And you can thank Ryan Murphy.
OK, I've admitted this before and I'm not afraid to admit this again.
I am an avid One Direction fan. And I don't really care who knows about it.
I mean, you'd be mindless not to love them. They're a very well fabricated/managed/constructed group of kids who sing decently manufactured pop music. On top of that, they have amazing style and a lesbian wardrobe I want to steal.
I mean, seriously, look at that lesbian wardrobe. It's beautiful. #icantwithlouisandhissuspendersomg
Ryan Murphy, I am officially severing myself from that excuse of a television show you call a revolution for teen and musical theatre culture. As much as I love Glee, it suffers from the following creative diseases:
-inconsistent writing and character development
-zero follow-up to mildly intriguing character development
-zero sensitivity to characters' actions and behaviour, often leading to the destruction of once likable characters
-constantly introducing stereotype characters despite preaching uniqueness and diversity
-too many characters, too little character development
-one dimensional characters (such as Kurt. All he seems to talk about is how talented he is and how gay he is. WE KNOW)
-lazy use of other characters (such as Tina. Why is she even there. It's like no one recognizes how talented Jenna Ushkowitz is)
-changing the ages of characters on us
-attempting to write around the music instead of letting the music decorate the writing
-covering mostly popular radio music in order to up record and iTunes sales
-unfunny jokes that are oftentimes just offensive
-racist despite preaching multiculturalism
-homophobic and biphobic despite preaching acceptance and tolerance for people of all sexual orientations
-misogynist despite preaching girl power feminism
-perpetuating the male gaze on women of all sexual orientations
-trivializing queer women (queer women erasure)
-not excusing Mr. Shue's often pedophile-like and pervy nature
-not excusing Finn's inconsiderate and disrespectful behaviour; constantly putting him out there as the hero of the story when he is really just being a bully and a douchebag and a derping derp
-trying to pretend that Finn is actually a good singer (HARDEE HAR HAR DERP DERP)
-being dramatic for the sake of being dramatic
-being campy for the sake of being campy
-trivializing serious issues such as teen suicide, domestic violence and transgender people
-throwing in references to current events without any follow through
-taking lightly serious subjects and using them as comedic punchlines, such as gay teen suicide (once again) and mental and learning disabilities (such as Sugar, who self-diagnoses as having Asperger's syndrome)
(Yes, I know. You would think that these writers know what second-hand embarrassment means but obviously they do not).
and last of all....
RUINING ONE
So Ryan Murphy, I am breaking up with you. Not that I ever really liked you in the first place. You put yourself out there as making the most daring show on television for teenagers. You say you're going to encourage kids to be who they want to be, to do what they want to do. Yet everything you say, you and your writers end up doing to the opposite effect. For your information, Degrassi has been around since the '80s, and it has portrayed teenagers more realistically than your show ever could. Teen pregnancy? They showed the options, they followed through with the character's decisions. Domestic violence? They did it honestly. Rape? They actually addressed it properly. Teen sex? They didn't trivialize it. Bullying? They showed the consequences. Drugs and alcohol? They didn't make it funny. Depression? They took it seriously. Racism? They actively addressed it. Queer relationships? They did it realistically. Transgender teenagers? They did it first.
I know it's probably a little unfair to compare Glee to Degrassi. For one thing, Glee is a campy musical show and Degrassi isn't. Glee is American and faces more censorship than Degrassi does in Canada. Degrassi has done many things that most shows for adults in North America won't do. Degrassi actually follows plotlines that last a full season, unlike Glee whose plotlines are so attention deficit they only stay with them for half an episode or a full episode at the most. So really, both television series are on completely different levels. But I think my issue with Glee is that it tries to preach while still remaining campy. You can't be talking about domestic violence and then joke about it and then sing a song about it. It doesn't work that way. Glee is suffering from what I like to call television bi-polarity. It can't decide whether it wants to be fun or whether it wants to be the second coming of Jesus. As long as it tries to straddle both sides, the messages that it tries to convey will never be effectively portrayed.
Which is why the show is an official waste of my fucking time.
Harry's hair agrees.
I will end this post on a good note, with One Direction's "One Thing." I know it's meant to be a positive love song, but I would like to dedicate this song as a FUCK YOU to Ryan Murphy and his writers.
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