No matter how evolved we are as a species, we all do stupid things at one point or another, right?
^This isn't me by the way. I'm slightly more attractive. And I know how to spell "extreme."
I was gonna turn this into a video blog post, just because this works better as a video, but I'm not that brave today, so it's just gonna be a list for now. I'll storyboard it sometime in the near future when I get enough friends to cast in the video so I don't have to be in it myself. But for now, here's the script:
Shit Closeted Queer Girls Say About Girls They Are Mildly In Love With
(a true confession sadly based on several true events)
1. I like that she likes Harry Potter. I also like her.
2. God, she smells good. How is it that girls smell so good?
3. Is she checking out my clothes or is she checking out me?
4. How awkward is this right now? I CAN'T SCALE IT.
5. Where is all the alcohol? I'M SO SOBER I COULD RECITE THE FIRST FIFTY DIGITS OF PI. AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW THE FIRST FIFTY DIGITS OF PI.
6. Where is my cell phone? I NEED TO PRETEND THAT I'M BUSY DOING IMPORTANT SHIT.
7. Where are all my friends? DO I HAVE ANY FRIENDS, HOLY SHIT I DON'T REMEMBER.
8. SHE'S SITTING BESIDE ME. I'll never sit beside another person the same way again.
8. SHE'S SITTING BESIDE ME. I'll never sit beside another person the same way again.
9. Should I play hard to get? How hard do I play to get? #decisions.
10. I'm gonna lean coolly against this tree. It worked for James Dean, didn't it? (Editor's Note: I don't know where the hell Wes came up with the idea that James Dean leaned on a tree at some point in his film career).
11. Why is she making out with whatshername? Why why why??!!
11. Why is she making out with whatshername? Why why why??!!
12. She should be making out with me.
13. Only if she wants to.
14. All I want to do is eat mint chocolate ice cream and drink cheap beer and listen to Linkin Park circa 1999......this must be what jealousy feels like.
15. I need to walk away.
16. I wrote my FB status with her in mind. OH MY GOD THIS IS GETTING STUPID.
17. OMG SHE LIKED MY FACEBOOK STATUS ZOOOMMMGGG THANK YOU MARK ZUCKERBERG.
18. Does liking my Facebook status constitute liking me?
19. Judy Blume, tell me what is going on.
20. Does she know?
21. I can't look at her anymore.
22. I need to look at her.
23. Every Carly Rae Jepsen song reminds me of her. And I don't even like Carly Rae Jepsen.
24. I'VE GOT MAIL.
25. SHE WROTE ME. THIS IS THE FIRST LETTER OF THE REST OF MY LIFE.
25. SHE WROTE ME. THIS IS THE FIRST LETTER OF THE REST OF MY LIFE.
26. I would do the long-distance thing, to fuck with proximity. The Little Prince worked it out with the moon, didn't he? (Editor's note: This isn't correct. Wes has an atrocious memory of the plotline of The Little Prince. Nowhere in there does le petit prince have an affair with the fucking moon).
27. No, this isn't realistic.
28. She has feelings, I have feelings. Why can't we just have feelings TOGETHER??!!
29. I IS KIND. I IS SMART. I IS IMPORTANT.
30. I hope that one day she realizes I was meant for her.
I'd like to say that I'm older now and I've learned from my youth and stuff like this no longer happens to me anymore.
But that's a flat out lie. We never really grow out of our ignorance, I don't think. There's always an unreasonable voice inside of us, prompting us to do things like set our hair on fire, jump off a cliff into shallow waters, or ride a skateboard on another skateboard on a treadmill. We fall for people we probably shouldn't be falling for. We do things for others that are completely out of character, that are completely absurd.
And maybe Albert Camus was right. We live in a world of absurdity. We breathe. We do stupid things. We die. Everything is temporary. You're temporary, this life is temporary, these feelings are temporary, all those people you want to hold hands with, they're all temporary. We're all Sisyphus, rolling that boulder of hope up a mountain, only to watch that boulder of hope come crashing down. Over and over again, it happens. Yet over and over again, we do it. We keep pushing that boulder up. Why? Not because we believe in love and we believe in happy endings and shitty Nicholas Sparks crap, but because we can't help ourselves. We're slaves to our desires for acceptance. We want to belong, we want to be needed, we want to smile at someone and have them smile back.
When it comes to stuff like that, we throw logic out the window, we become nothing but what we feel. For me, this is one of the worst traps I fall into. I hate it when it happens because I am very much aware of it, yet I let it happen anyway. It's this uncontrollable thing, where your very being ignores your mind and acts like all the years of education, all the years of learning civility, all the years of gaining common sense and developing critical thinking, none of it matters anymore. What makes it so scary though is the fact that losing yourself turns out to be one of the best feelings in the world. What does that tell me about myself? I don't know and I'm not sure I want to know.
Anyway, I'm absurd you're absurd we're all absurd. Thanks for reading about my embarrassing antics. Have a lovely Victoria Day weekend.
I'd like to say that I'm older now and I've learned from my youth and stuff like this no longer happens to me anymore.
But that's a flat out lie. We never really grow out of our ignorance, I don't think. There's always an unreasonable voice inside of us, prompting us to do things like set our hair on fire, jump off a cliff into shallow waters, or ride a skateboard on another skateboard on a treadmill. We fall for people we probably shouldn't be falling for. We do things for others that are completely out of character, that are completely absurd.
And maybe Albert Camus was right. We live in a world of absurdity. We breathe. We do stupid things. We die. Everything is temporary. You're temporary, this life is temporary, these feelings are temporary, all those people you want to hold hands with, they're all temporary. We're all Sisyphus, rolling that boulder of hope up a mountain, only to watch that boulder of hope come crashing down. Over and over again, it happens. Yet over and over again, we do it. We keep pushing that boulder up. Why? Not because we believe in love and we believe in happy endings and shitty Nicholas Sparks crap, but because we can't help ourselves. We're slaves to our desires for acceptance. We want to belong, we want to be needed, we want to smile at someone and have them smile back.
When it comes to stuff like that, we throw logic out the window, we become nothing but what we feel. For me, this is one of the worst traps I fall into. I hate it when it happens because I am very much aware of it, yet I let it happen anyway. It's this uncontrollable thing, where your very being ignores your mind and acts like all the years of education, all the years of learning civility, all the years of gaining common sense and developing critical thinking, none of it matters anymore. What makes it so scary though is the fact that losing yourself turns out to be one of the best feelings in the world. What does that tell me about myself? I don't know and I'm not sure I want to know.
Anyway, I'm absurd you're absurd we're all absurd. Thanks for reading about my embarrassing antics. Have a lovely Victoria Day weekend.
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