De-stress the stress.

Time for blogging therapy!!!


Do you feel overwhelmed by one or many of the stress causers listed below?


School
Work
Family
Teachers
Friends
Your paranoid android neighbour
American politics
Fox News
The NHL trade deadline
People you like who don't like you
Glee sucking monkey balls for the past year and a half
Your Bachelor Canada audition video
The sinking realization that Rachel Maddow will never actually marry you
Your sprained ankle that may actually be broken
Your domesticated skunk who is trying to steal your live-in boyfriend away from you


If so, then you have come to the right place!!


So long story short, I have been stressed as SHIT this past week and I know a lot of people around me are too. It takes a lot of mental and physical strength to travel up a mountain everyday, sit in a room with mold dripping from the ceiling for six hours, listen to your profs lecture on and on about things that you thought were common sense, wonder why you paid fucking twenty grand to gain common sense, realize that you may have developed asthma from the classroom mold, go home feeling like you've got a dust bunny in your lungs and a golf ball in your esophagus, then proceed to do homework that you have absolutely zero motherfucking shit desire to do. Especially when TLC is running a "19 Kids and Counting" marathon.


I know that a lot of people feel the exact same way as I do.


So I figured we could all use a session of.....PUPPY THERAPY!!!!!


I think we all know what puppy therapy is. It's like any other therapy. Only it actually works. And it has puppies.


So let's start off with the main point of this practice. Which is. THE PUPPIES.


Take a look at this motherfucking puppy.

This is a beagle. As in, it is not a bagel. It is a puppy. With feelings. Snoopy was a beagle. This puppy doesn't look like Snoopy though.


A Holly Golightly motherfucking puppy.

This is a maltese, which sounds like a fancy ass drink. But it is not. You should never try to drink a maltese.


A winter holiday version of a motherfucking puppy.

This is a golden retriever. Golden retrievers are like blond women. Everyone prefers them. And by everyone, I mean some people.


SO MANY MOTHERFUCKING PUPPIES (they just keep coming!)

This is a shih tzu. Shih tzus are convenient in that you can literally name your shih tzu "Shit" and no one can technically hate you for it. Because they all know that if they had shih tzus they'd take advantage of that pun SO HARD.


A sombre motherfucking puppy.

This is a samoyed. Samoyeds are dogs that look like polar bears. So for all you polar bear enthusiasts who always wished you could domesticate an arctic monster, here's your best bet.


A lonely motherfucking puppy (is the therapy working so far??!!)

This is an English bulldog. English bulldogs are like grandmothers. Little and wrinkly.


Aaaannnd the last motherfucking puppy of this session is....

A pomeranian!!! Basically, if this little guy doesn't make you want to burst into tears, hide under a blanket and sing Everly Brothers songs at the top of your lungs, then you are probably a psychotic person who needs more powerful therapy than puppy therapy. For the rest of you though, cry as much as you need to, sing as loud as you feel like, and try not to accidentally suffocate yourself underneath that blanket.


Thank you for participating in puppy therapy. I hope you are now as high as a kite off all the cuteness.


Really. Who needs drugs when these little motherfuckers are here?