You're in a public washroom in a shopping mall. You really need to pee, and you've got all your shopping bags with you. As well as your purse. And your coat. And none of the bathroom stalls have hooks. Either no one ever thought to put them up in the first place, or they've been stolen. Since hooks aren't in high demand, I am guessing it is most likely always the former.
You go into one of the bathroom stalls and the floor's seemingly flooded. But no matter, it is busy and there is a line behind you. Besides, you really, really have to pee. You see that there are some drops of water on the seat, so you wipe it clean and pile the seat with multiple layers of toilet paper. Unfortunately, there is a flush sensor right in front of you, and after five minutes of expert toilet paper layering, the sensor decides you've been at it for too long and starts flushing. Only this isn't any regular flush, it's like
and it goes EVERYWHERE. And all of a sudden, you figure out why the floor is slightly damper than normal. The toilet has a flush with enough power to fire a small rocket ship into the air. The water soars in every direction, soaking the seat again as well as the toilet paper you so meticulously put on it. The water hits your clothes, your shopping bags, your purse, the walls of the stall, the door. And you stand there with an expression on your face akin to
You think back to the good old days of manual flushing and of toilets that did not treat the washroom like fucking Splash Mountain. You do your business, making sure not to hit the sensor this time around, which causes you to partially stand awkwardly in a crooked position with your leg slightly swung to the side. This does not make the situation any easier.
You grab your coat, your purse and your shopping bags, roughly unlock the stall door and come out looking like this
and you go to the sink and you swing your coat over your shoulder and you put your bags between your legs as you attempt to turn on the faucet. I don't know about any of you but this is also a very difficult procedure. I can never put my stuff on the counter because it's almost always wet, and I can never put my stuff on the floor because it's almost always wet. So I always end up having to clamp my stuff between my knees as I wash my hands. As you all know, knees were not made to hold things, so this is very challenging, especially if you are carrying bags that are wider than yourself.
But look, another challenge presents itself. The faucet is also a sensor. Only this time around, it seems to be ignoring your supposedly invisible hands. You swipe at the sensor over and over again, and nothing. Apparently they oversensitized the toilet sensor and desensitized the faucet sensor. Once you finally get the faucet working, it spurts out water like this
Then you go to get some soap and you realize that goddammit the soap dispenser is also powered by a sensor. Have we become such a lazy society that it's too much work to flush toilets on our own and turn on faucets on our own and pump out soap on our own? I don't know about you guys but our attempts at making life easier actually fuck shit up instead. It's almost as if our technology is laughing back at our faces for trying to make life convenient to the point of nothingness.
So, once you finally get some soap on your hands, you spend another five minutes trying to find that faucet sensor again and when you finally get that going it takes another ten minutes to rinse out all of that soap because the water coming out of that faucet is basically air and when you go to dry your hands you suddenly get distracted because this cute girl just walked by you so you say to yourself "fuck dry hands" and you start walking after her feeling like you deserve at least some eye candy after the washroom beat down you just experienced and you're walking faster and you don't see where you're going and suddenly bang you hit a wall around the corner and you fall face first and hit the floor like this
And all you're worried about now is the fact that your own clumsiness lost you that girl.
And to top it all off, your hands are still wet.
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